“Are you in comfortable place?” Sophia asked.
“Yes.” I lay on my couch under a blanket and held my phone up to my ear.
“I’m going to hang up, go on an astral journey, consult with your soul fragments, and call you back in about 30 minutes. I may also do some body work on you, so until then, I want you to relax and lay quietly.”
When she hung up, I put my phone on my coffee table and closed my eyes.
I had no idea what astral journeys or soul fragments were, but I hoped they would help me. Within seconds, my right foot started tingling. It slowly traveled up my leg to my hip, torso, chest, neck, and head.
I don’t know how much time passed before the phone rang.
“Suzanne, this is Sophia. How are you feeling?”
“I fell asleep.” I got myself into a sitting position and shook off my sleepiness. “I felt tingling all the way up my right side.”
“I did energy work on your aura. It’s like Swiss cheese. Full of holes.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you have weak boundaries full of holes that allow negative energy and disease to slip into your field. I sewed some of them up, but your aura needs a lot of work.” She paused as if I should have a snappy answer to that diagnosis, but I had no idea what to say.
“I also consulted with your soul fragments. Unfortunately, I can’t retrieve them.” Sophia spoke very matter of factly.
“Why not?” Wasn’t soul retrieval her specialty?
“They said, ‘Why would we want to go back to that mess’?”
“What mess?” I was offended but unsure why.
“They say you have a lot of work to do before they’re willing to return to your soul.”
“What kind of work?” What was this lady talking about?
“Clearing things that no longer serve you. Negative people, behaviors, and patterns you need to let go of.”
“How do I do that?” I asked.
“Keep doing the work.”
Confused? So was I.
This scene is from my memoir in progress, Pre-existing Conditions, when I had a session with a Shaman who was an expert in soul retrieval. At the time, I didn’t know that every time I did something I didn’t want to do, to please someone else, holes formed in my aura, allowing fragments of my soul to flee while creating an entrance for negative energy and disease to slip in.
I was 45 years old at the time, five years into Chronic Lyme Disease, trying anything to heal. Up until then, I was a people pleaser, with weak boundaries, constantly trying to keep peace between family members, friends, and me and my boyfriends. I ignored my own needs for most of my life, not knowing that every time I betrayed myself, I weakened my aura and opened myself up to disease.
Learning to set boundaries was one of the greatest gifts of Lyme Disease. While sick, I had a built-in excuse to stay home, to focus on myself, to miss events other people wanted me to go to that I didn’t want attend. I realized how easy it could be to say, “No.”
My favorite response became, “That isn’t going to work for me.” I stopped over explaining and making up grandiose excuses about why I couldn’t do something and simply said, “No.”
And you know what? That was totally ok. Now, if I don't want to do something I simply don't do it. And if someone tries to give me shit about it, I let that person go. I'm not letting anyone Swiss cheese my aura again.
How are you when it comes to setting boundaries?